LOVE LETTER: Lift & Embrace

Each time I’ve turned to my own will rather than looking for you, you still turned up right next to me to embrace me, hold my hand, love me with unfailing love. As if I never turned my back against you, as if what I’ve done never hurt you, as if the choices I made never upset you, you never stopped loving me with this passionate, compassionate, merciful, full of grace and forgiveness love.
How do you do it? How do you know what I’ve done and the choices I made against you for my own pleasure and then come love me as your most precious daughter?

I fall on my knees and cover my face realising how much love you pour over me and feel you come and cover me, put your hands around mine, wipe away my tears, lift up my chin, embrace me, and help me up. I hear you gently say to me, ‘no my child, you Are the one I’m calling, I’ve never stopped loving you. I still look for you when you hide in shame, you are so precious to me, I love you so much, I want to be with you eternally’.

This is my love story.

#readinghosea #unfailinglove #lovestory #ineverstoppedlovingyou #anguishandcompassion #relationship

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GOD SPEAKS: Clouds & Self Worth

Who can comprehend the clouds in the sky? Who can measure them or count them? Not you. Not I. Out of all my insecurities and doubts and worries my Father says to me, ‘Who am I?’

Last night I watched ‘Wonder Woman’ and it really inspired me and gave me revelations. Through the movie God kept saying to me ‘Look, I have so much more for you. So much more than human affection, You.. Deserve.. More than that. I love you so much’. There is more to this world than pleasure or attention, so much more than romantic love, so much more than finding your purpose, so much more than anything you could ever imagine. It’s not about winning love or affection, it’s knowing that you Are loved by a love more than any other love and understanding that frees you to a spirit of being content with any situation.

God’s kingdom of heaven is here on earth, and once you find that place you realize how earthly things don’t matter as much as what God has prepared for you. Spiritually you learn to communicate with God and see a glimpse of what he has in store for you, it’s massive, it changes your life, it brings peace in all situations and it comforts.

I also thought about the process of Wonder Woman getting filmed, how many years went into that and how many years go into preparing anything extraordinary? God.. is Preparing you and I.. for something Extraordinary!

Recently, out of the fruit of a close friend encouraging me, I started running in the mornings. This has been something I’ve always wanted to do but didn’t have enough stamina, courage or motivation to do.

Sidenote: I’m making a point here to say that friendship is powerful! The support we give to a friend and words we say can actually change lives, turn someone in the right direction and lift up someone’s spirit. Honestly, if you were to ask me my opinion on the best profession? Friend. I wanna strive to be a professional friend, changing lives for love, one at a time.

But it took me a couple days until I started thinking, what’s the real reason I run? Is it to get fit? But for what? No, I run for ME. I’m not running for better shape, to impress, for praise, for men, I’m running for ME. I’m running for His glory, because my body is His temple and I love my Father.

That also led me to thinking about my Self worth. My self worth is from God, not from running, not from attention, not from men, not from position, not from replies on social media, not from numbers… I can’t say this easily but I’ve realized how important it is to remember and remind myself that my self worth is from God and who He says I am. I am daughter of a King, of one who loves me more than anything or anyone, not money not parents not a lover not a foreseeable future and so what could ever stop me from standing tall, speaking and walking confident in the love He has for me while proclaiming my faith? I have strong faith that God only has good things for me and he’s preparing me and molding me even for the things that come up today.

When God spoke to Job, it speaks to me massively, these verses are so loud to me they jump out and wake me.

Job 38-41:

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!

“Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, 10 when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, 11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?

“Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place,

What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? 25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm, 26 to water a land where no one lives, an uninhabited desert, 27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass? 28 Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? 29 From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens 30 when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen?

Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons[c]    or lead out the Bear[d] with its cubs? Do you know the laws of the heavens?    Can you set up God’s[e] dominion over the earth?

34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds    and cover yourself with a flood of water? 35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?    Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?

Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?    Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens 38 when the dust becomes hard    and the clods of earth stick together? 39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness    and satisfy the hunger of the lions 40 when they crouch in their dens    or lie in wait in a thicket? 41 Who provides food for the raven    when its young cry out to God    and wander about for lack of food?

Job 39

“Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?
    Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?
Do you count the months till they bear?
    Do you know the time they give birth?

“Do you give the horse its strength
    or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?
20 Do you make it leap like a locust,
    striking terror with its proud snorting?
21 It paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength,
    and charges into the fray.
22 It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing;
    it does not shy away from the sword.

“Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom
    and spread its wings toward the south?
27 Does the eagle soar at your command
    and build its nest on high?

It dwells on a cliff and stays there at night;
    a rocky crag is its stronghold.
29 From there it looks for food;
    its eyes detect it from afar.
30 Its young ones feast on blood,
    and where the slain are, there it is.”

While words of God spoken to Job out of the storm, it awakened me to ask ‘Sarah, how can you forget who your God is?’ Yes Papa, my ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.

I’ve come to a season where yet again I’m at a cross road and it seems the road I must take isn’t an easy one. One where there is heartache, one where I will have to go on my own and bid many farewells but there is a God who loves me and covers me, there is a God of endless possibilities, there is a God who protects me. God is all you need to overcome anything or maybe you’ll realize you not even have to overcome anymore. Holy spirit is so amazing that when you receive the peace it reigns in your heart, you’ll find you’re simply content, you have no worries in the world no stress no pressure.

Tong An, you are an amazing friend. I love that you encourage me so much regarding my identity. I love that I feel comfortable around you in my mix bag of cultures and you bring out the gold in my unique identity. I must say your words have a big impact in my life and though we may separate paths soon, the memories and words you’ve spoken over me will last my lifetime. Thank you, I appreciate your friendship so much. xx

 

GOD SPEAKS: Little by Little

Papa,

Little by little you’ve shown me the way and revealed glimpses of my future to me. It’s astonishing because you show me through the little things… and those little things catch me off guard but give me the biggest revelations that always remain to remind me to ‘Stay the Path’. Keep walking forward, all it takes is one step after the other.

By a gentle wave, you say to me through the leaves on a branch I am your father, I am here for you. Look towards me when you’re lonely, look to me when you feel abandoned, look to me when you need comfort. Psalm 46:5//Psalm 25:15

By the angel steps on the surface of moving bodies of water I am peace, I am calmness, find me when you need to find rest, be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

By the stars in the sky every night I walk home and the clouds forever changing but always beautiful I have promises in store for you, stop worrying, look up in the sky and don’t forget. Psalm 42:5 & 8

By the dreams in the night that comfort me, bring me joy, makes me giggle or even haunt me. You’ve never once left me unaccompanied. You’ve shown me that I am free, I am victorious and that I am powerful beyond measure. Spiritually, with Christ in me I am strong, capable, and confident to defeat Anything that comes my way. Nothing can bring me down. Eph 2.18//2 Tim. 1:7//Rom 8:35-39//Phil 4:13

When I raise my hands to worship I feel your power surge through me where nothing is impossible, nothing can conquer me because you’ve conquered it all. Your presence is so tangible, you have never left me and because you love me I stand tall, I stand confident, I stand knowing I am a child of God.

Each and every message preached in chapels and services that so perfectly line up with my life and difficult situations. My child, listen to what I have to say, I am speaking to you, hear me whisper, let me lead you. Proverbs 2:1-5

My lack of focus to complete assessments. It’s alright Sarah, just try. Just try, little by little because you are capable, I have put in your hands what you can handle. But even if you fail, even if you don’t measure up to human standards I still love you, I’m still here for you. It will all be okay.

That friend who is there for me, that somehow always knows what to say. Through my friend you say to me, You are valued, your smile means something to people, you are treasured, you are loved. You be you.

That empowerment for me to care for others and lead others. You can do it, I am empowering you and because you know deeply that I love you, you have enormous ability to love others.

That realization of how incredible it is what I get to do now. Look how far you’ve gone from where you were before. It’s not a simple task and yet You did it Sarah. You stepped out of the boat, you stepped on waters, you allowed your faith to take a leap, you allowed yourself to be stretched. You are doing far better than you think.

That turn of my head, looking back over my shoulders to realize what an incredible journey it’s been It’s okay my child, you’ve been through a lot, you’ve had your heart broken and scarred but each time I’ve healed you, each time I’ve pulled you out of the pit and each time I launch you to an even greater future. Look how I’ve always held your hand, look at how I’ve brought you here.

Why are you always questioning the future? Renew your thinking, let it go, take each day step by step, walk hand in hand next to Jesus. His are the footsteps in the sand, He is carrying you. His mercies are new each day, what has He graced you to do today? Please, Sarah, my princess, take it little by little. Be patient. Hold my hand tightly and follow me.

And so, Papa, little by little it is my turn to take the steps to bring your kingdom to earth.

Little by little I am learning to speak up for you.

Little by little I am learning to walk with even stronger faith.

Little by little I am sharing my story to bring you glory and to bring people to you.

Little by little my flame grows stronger & larger to shine brighter for you.

Little by little I am free from thoughts that restrict me.

Little by little I become a visionary, I become a big dreamer, I stand taller for you.

Little by little, I take larger steps, I conquer more and more, I have no fear.

Little by little I know that nothing can bring me down.

Little by little I am content with each and every situation.

Little by little Christ living in me is more and more real. Galatians 2:20

Little by little I am sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything. 2 Corinthians 6:10

Little by little I hear you and speak to you more every single day, I have joy every single day, and your words resonate in my mind and in my heart every single day.

Thank you Papa, that each time my head tilts down you lift my head up with your hand. You lift my head up to see your glory and my heart cries ‘holy, holy, holy’ because you always reveal something fresh to me. You capture my heart and sweep me away in your love. Thank you that I can feel your embrace.

Thank you for loving me and teaching me to love myself.

Forever yours,

Sarah Yi-yi Tsai

LOVE LETTER: Agape love

When I was in a season where I physically couldn’t lift up the sides of my lips to smile, God’s Agape love were a strong set of wings that wrapped around me everywhere I went. While I was driving, while I was walking, while I was working these wings were there to hold me so I don’t collapse, so I’m not defeated, so that I have something to hold on to.

What is God’s Agape love to you?

Nowadays God’s Agape love is His firm hand on my life occasionally patting my back letting me know it’s alright. It’s His quiet presence in my room, it’s the friends He so purposefully places in my life, it’s in the moments where He fills my eyes with tears of love, it’s in prayers, it’s in His word and it’s in the songs that come up in my day.

May I encourage you? If you feel like you have a missing piece in your life, a hole in your heart, Jesus wants to have a relationship with you and all it takes is for you to start talking to him and accept Him into your life.

As a friend I may not be able to be physically present when you need someone, but I can let you know of my greatest friend and companion who can be there for you whenever, wherever. He’s always there for you whether it’s to celebrate with you or to cry with you. He’s asking for nothing but your love because He loves you with an Agape love, the highest form of love.

The earth and us humans have a fallen nature because of the freedom given to us but that’s why God sent His son to die sacrificially for our sins. He has redeemed you! He loves you and He wants to help you, He wants to have you wake up every day encouraged and full of peace and joy. Cry out to him! Ask him to help you.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?… No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:35, 37-39)

If you’re reading this and you’re not having the best days, can I encourage you that it may seem like the worst days for you but there’s something eternal waiting for you. What may seem like something you can never overcome is nothing compared to the eternal.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

When we accept Jesus into our lives we have something ‘eternal’ to look forward to because eventually we meet in heaven. This ‘eternal glory’ means that what’s waiting for us in heaven is far better than what we’re facing here on earth, the ‘temporary’. So, from my own definition I see it as: whatever trouble or hardship that I’m facing now may be extremely tough and frustrating at times, but it will be extremely tiny compared to eternity. I may feel that this suffering is painful and long and it’s all that I can see right now but when it comes to eternity, the unseen, it won’t seem that way. I have the strength to keep on keeping on because I’m looking forward to eternity and because I know that even though I cannot see it, it’s waiting for me.

Love can be painful, it can be lonely; love can seem distant, it can seem deceiving but let me tell you this, Jesus’ Agape love is an unconditional love that surpasses any other form of love you can receive. All you need to do is open your heart to receive it. Trust me because I received it and I so wish you would too. The love He has for you is so passionate, so alive and so deep.

If I could wish anything from this world I’d wish I could show you myself how far and wide He loves you.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” (John 15:9)

 

 

LOVE LETTER: African Golden Cat

Not much is known about the African Golden Cat except that it spends most of its lifetime solitary. That’s so fascinating, there isn’t much to know about this cat other than the fact that it spends its life being single.

What does spending my life being single look like? How intriguing, what else can I discover behind this status? There is so much more to be found, just like there is so much more about the African Golden Cat that we don’t know, waiting to be discovered.

The more I look into it, the more interested I am in what it means to be single.

This is a critical season where I have all the time to work on me. There is so much to do, so much to learn and so much to explore. In this season I am developing new strengths, new confidence, new capacity, new everything, wow! Undistracted by other stages of life I get to focus on my character. God is putting armour around my faith (Ephesians 6:10-17), strengthening my character, conserving my energy, and preparing me for the future!

“The Father’s work in us does not sleep – though in spiritual winters he retracts all advertisement. And when he does so, he is purifying our faith, strengthening our character, conserving our energy, and preparing us for the future. The sleepy days of winter hide us so that seductive days of summer will not ruin us.” [Anonymous – Alicia Britt Chole]

I think the one word that defines singleness for me is ‘Adventure’. The African Golden Cat is an agile climber though it spends most of its lifetime on the ground. So while I am single and before I spend the rest of my life time with someone, I am going to be the most agile climber adventuring out to discover who I am, what makes me tick, what makes me happy, what I love, what Jesus’ agape means to me, what makes me passionate, what keeps me going, what gives me energy, what takes away my energy.

I recently had intensives with Scott Wilson (@scottwilson__), a man of so much wisdom, who taught the class this:

The world belongs to those with energy. The decision you have to make is one about energy if you want to change the world. Here’s what you should watch:

  1. What you eat // your lack of energy is due to your diet, so monitor it.
  2. People // We spend more time with people who take energy, when we need people who give Make sure to connect to your energizers, they talk the right language, give healthy confrontation, and they buzz. Spend time being in their world.
  3. Atmospheres // A good atmosphere creates a sense of lift & energy. Get rid of things that don’t create an uplifting atmosphere for you (such as music with horrible/depressing lyrics). There are things/music that are de-energizing, find what energizes you.
  4. Spiritual Engagement // There are certain times of the day where prayer, worship, scripture, fasting can energize you and you can be disciplined with. Find the right time to do it if you need to discipline yourself. Don’t ask for the result without the discipline.

 

Come stand next to my vision for a moment:

I’m standing at the summit of a majestic mountain, looking out. The sky is dimmed, not pitch black, I can see the stars reminding me of God’s promises. There is a breeze and it’s lifting me up as if I’m almost soaring.

As the wind blows, I am going to stretch and enlarge my capacity (Isaiah 54:2), constantly innovate my ideas and let my experiences empower the people I love. I encourage those around me with the same passion to do what they love and while being alongside them I ignite the fuel to light up the fire that’s within them.

I am a woman who stands firm carrying the stamp of ownership (2 Corinthians 1:21-22), I have died to self knowing my true identity (Galatians 1:20), more importantly I am strong and confident because of the armour I’ve put on (Ephesians 6:10-17). My everlasting faith is in every decision I make, every move I make and every risk I take.

Faith is what defines me. Writing is what expresses me. Preaching is what motivates me.

Jesus is who inspires me. God the Father is who empowers me. Holy Spirit is who guides me.

Prayer is what stills me. Praise is what lifts me. The Word is what strengthens me.

Salvation is the confidence in me. Dying to self is the hope in me. The Church is expectant of me. The People are those who encourage me.

Calling is what wakes me. Fire is what drives me. Passion is what launches me.

Hey, I’m spending the most of my life being with me, so I am going to get good at it. I will not allow this precious season of singleness, growth and discovery to cause me to think I am ever alone or inadequate. This is the day, this is the time, for Sarah to embrace everything that she is to charge forward, chase dreams and conquer territories. To fear, to insecurities, to loneliness, to depression, to the enemy, to anything that tries to bring me down: Come at me!

‘The time we have to be single, is really the time we have to get good at being alone.’ – How to be Single

As of today, there really isn’t anything more interesting than being single and loving it.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

 

External Sources:

Sunquist, M.; Sunquist, F. (2002). Wild Cats of the World. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. pp. 246–251. ISBN 0-226-77999-8.

SO TAKE ME BACK: Presence

How many times must I stop to be reminded of God’s presence?

Life throws me in a whirlwind sometimes. One moment it’s a calm sunny day the next you’re spinning in your head trying to figure out your thoughts.

I’ve been thinking why I feel these feelings, why I want certain things and why I’m not satisfied with my current situation. Perhaps it’s because my life has been changing: people that come and go, situations that are always changing and consequences to those things. I’ve been thinking how they affect me and how I must deal with it: How do I come out strong? How do I come out a champion? What can I learn from these experiences?

Today I learned from two people and then received encouragement from a few key people in my life.

T.D. Jakes, “Keep the Change”: ‘The process begins with understanding how relentless and tenacious we must be in order to prevail over the adversity we confront. There is a mind-set of the champion that gives him an edge. It is his refusal to accept average or ordinary that puts him in a place of unprecedented distinction. In fact, there is a discipline and training that forever positions the gladiator as the winner he has meant to be. Once he has been programmed to succeed, he will ultimately rise to his highest and best self because he has been trained to win, conditioned to prevail, and called to be a conqueror. He has been positioned to be a winner, and even if he loses everything, he has that nebulous, seemingly indefinable gift of landing on his feet in shoes with silver linings.’ [Reposition Yourself – T.D. Jakes]

Okay, Sarah. You are in training to come out a gladiator, to come out your best self, to win any situation you are given. That also means you can conquer feeling lonely.

Joyce Meyer, “A Vital Necessity”: ‘If our thoughts are going to affect what we become, then it should certainly be a priority that we think right thoughts.

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)

One of the best aids to freedom is asking God for a lot of help – and asking often. One of your weapons is prayer (asking). You can’t overcome your situation by determination alone.

Just as my physical life is dependent upon my vital signs, so my spiritual life is dependent upon spending regular, quality time with God…. Once I realized that right thinking is vital to victorious living, I got more serious about thinking about what I was thinking about, and choosing my thoughts carefully.’ [Battlefield of the Mind – Joyce Meyer]

“For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.” (Romans 8:5)

Okay, Sarah. You can’t do this alone, ask God for help. Think about what you are thinking about and choose carefully.

My friend/mentor Anouk always speaks life into me, she’s inspired me and planted so many seeds in me that are growing today. She reminded me this: All these things you’re facing is normal. It’s normal to want to be with someone but loneliness is different from finding someone to be with. Your source is God, people can give you happiness but your source of happiness comes from God. Loneliness is something you must work on through spending time with God.

Then I’m reminded yet again of God’s presence. How do I feel His presence? How do I know that He’s there?

If you were to ask me what my happiest memory is, one memory to pull out when I’m facing the hardest things in life, I go back to the beach where I’m lying down on the sand as a 5 year old girl next to my dad looking into the night sky. We sit there silent, next to each other, feeling like there’s nothing else in the world but him and I watching the stars shine.

This memory is so vital and so vivid because my dad showed me what the word ‘Presence’ means. When I look back with my imagination, I can literally feel my dad right next to me. I can see him, I can see the stars, I can feel the sand and I can feel the temperature of the cool night.

Fast forward to me grown up and facing the world on my own I now understand what it means to have God my Father next to me, what it feels like to remember that His ‘Presence’ is in my day to day life. I can close my eyes and I can see Him, I can trace His footsteps along the way in my whole day, I can feel Him walking with me, and I can feel His embrace.

I’m thankful. Thankful that God has given me such a beautiful memory of ‘Presence’. I’m thankful that today I had a great day by myself but realizing I wasn’t by myself. I’m thankful for the key people that spoke to me today. I’m thankful for my thoughts. I’m thankful for my situation. I’m thankful for the training, for the battle and for that which is keeping me in touch with Him. I’m thankful that while I’m facing hard situations I can see His Presence shining on all my circumstances. I’m thankful that He has filled me with joy and happiness in the midst of loneliness and in the midst of all this.

#presence #stop #source #memories #happiness #stargazing #sotakemeback

PASSION

❤ I see a heart so strong and so tough. It has a healthy invisible shield around it so that even when obstacles as big as asteroids hit it they would only burn away. 

The source of this heart and the beating of it resounds so deeply it vibrates and ripples throughout because it beats for Christ. 

Each beating of her heart is powered by the love and grace of Christ and it is beating because of every drop of blood Christ bled for her. 

Her heart contracts as a muscle that’s been trained to be fit, to be firm and to be exercised daily. 

This heart of hers is vibrant, it’s genuine, it’s authentic and it’s kind. 

This heart is open to everyone she encounters and any situation she faces because it’s expectant to serve others. 

This heart does not sleep, it doesn’t stop beating for its calling and that calling is to bring glory to its master, its lord, its king of the most high. 

This heart never stops reciting the promises of God and the word of God which is for her. 

This heart burns passionately of all that God has for her. 

This heart is ON FIRE for Him. This heart beats steadily and confidently Every. Single. Second. Because this heart serves a Purpose: To love people, to love God and to love herself. 

This heart is my heart.

#passion #strongheart #purpose #heartbeat 

GOD SPEAKS

Me: Why God? Why? Why? Why?

God: Get Ready! Get Ready! Get Ready!

Patience and Temperance is something I’m still working on. We live in a world that demands immediate gratification and I totally see how my life has been catered to getting what I want when I want it. That’s what makes it so hard when it comes to even bigger blessings in my life. I almost assume that I’m supposed to receive the blessings right away or that something must be wrong with me.

But, as Joel A’Bell explained, we need to know the difference between what we want and what we need. Restrictions build character, builds temperance. God leads us in temperance.

“Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors hand known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 8:2-3)

As many have reminded me, God is not a God of confusion! At the moment I desperately feel like I’m in need of some things in my life and every time I go and think about it I end up with the same conclusion, ‘Why is that something in my life not to desperately seek after Jesus?’

I hear God yelling at me, trying to ingrain His message of how much He loves me in my mind, my soul, my spirit. He’s shouting at me, “Sarah! Get ready! Stop worrying about the future! I have so much for you, but you must be ready when they come!”

What is He wanting to do in you right now, Sarah? So much! Growth, Independence, Confidence, Happiness, Never Alone, Faith, God is my Source, Love, Patience! The list goes on.

There are so many things He’s wanting to do in me at the present time that prepares me so much better for whatever that’s coming. But these things even prepares me to face situations I face now! I’m in fact so thankful that God has given me this revelation and that He’s the most patient teacher and the most patient Father. He is willing to take me slowly on this journey so that I can understand the process of seeing myself become someone beautiful and someone whole that He’s made me to be.

From T.D. Jakes book ‘Power for Living’ he says this:

“Why is the blessing delayed? Why must I wait?… Am I in the right place at the wrong time, or the wrong place at the right time? Lord, what’s up?

Why does not merely say “Give me an answer.” It’s a demand, an inquiry, a request that you talk with me, that you dialogue with me until I understand your thought process. It says, “Communicate with me until I understand your wisdom, until I know how to deduce for myself and determine in my mind the things that you have deciphered in your maturity. I know that I may appear to be inferior and my intellect may be less developed than yours, but explain the situation and break it down to my level of understanding that I might be able to determine the matter for myself. That way, when you’re not around, I can equate and come to a solution or conclusion on my own without the help of others. I need to think in a decisive manner for myself that I may learn to be independent.”

T.D. Jakes also says, ‘The biblical perspective of life is not one of unfulfilled dreams or unanswered prayers. The biblical, godly perspective of life is one of insight, direction, hope, fulfilled dreams, and visions. Just because the vision tarries doesn’t mean God has changed His mind or given up on you. It could very well mean that the timing or the situation is not right for God to get the ultimate glory and benefit out of your trusting in Him. Hold on to faith even in the midst of the battle.’ [Power for Living – T.D. Jakes]

Maybe you feel that you had dreams that God has taken away, maybe you feel that God just doesn’t have big plans for you. I’m here to tell you with my personal testimony that that’s not true! The bible tells us that God has given us promises, that he fulfills our dreams and our visions. God is a God of perfect timing, He is a God that blesses you every single day. What is something that He’s blessed you with today? Learning to appreciate the small things and the every day things widens up your lens to see the things you can only see through faith. The life that you’ve been given is one to live to the fullest, one that God is walking with you step by step to guide you into who He’s called you to be.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Can I encourage you to turn your focus to how much God loves you every single second of your life, to his presence in your life. He’s been with you the whole time. Every time you feel alone, ask him to embrace you, ask him to show you what is unseen. Every time you feel like giving up, think about what He’s doing in your life currently, He’s always doing something in you to get you to where you’re going.

Trust in Him as He guides you to your destiny, your purpose, your dreams. It’s not easy to walk on this path without faith. Great faith is needed to continue on this journey and you can do it by partnering with Him. Ask him to carry you as you walk the tough parts of life, ask Him to lift you up when you’re feeling down, praise Him for all that He’s done in your day, ask Him to encourage you and to show you how much He loves you.

I believe that it’s not just holding on to hope but that we have a responsibility to remind ourselves each time we stumble, of the things God has already shown us and the things He’s showing us right now.

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love. For I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go. For you I entrust my life.” (Psalms 143:8)

PASSION

This passion more evidently took a big launch and started to grow more and more on my birthday last year. A passion that, as my dear friend encouraged me, ‘bursts with sparkles inside a bottle.’ One that longs for more of God and to seek Him earnestly. ‘When the enemy starts to shake the bottle trying to break it, the passion inside started shaking and all the light and sparkles burst out of the bottle.’

To be honest my life hasn’t always been smooth. In fact, if you want a big picture it’s more been sloppy slopes, sometimes mountains high and definitely valleys low. I’ve overcome a lot and that’s made me who I am today. I’m sure many of you can identify with me, I’ve struggled with identity, relationships, and with loneliness.

My journey thus far (& by the grace of God I’m still learning) has personally shown me that my identity is His masterpiece, there’s none greater than the relationship I have with Him, and that I am Never Alone.

You are God’s masterpiece

I used to think that I couldn’t fit in anywhere, that my physical appearance and inner identity couldn’t blend in with anyone. As a result, it’s given me the perception of never being able to measure up, not having the qualifications to talk to people who I thought didn’t accept me, and has made me ‘timid’.

Through series of revelations is how God keeps reminding me that I am His creation. He created me this way in order to reach a diverse group of people. My identity includes things like being an Asian woman growing up and educated in a Western world. But those things that used to make me feel timid is rather a strength because all these different parts that make up me can reach all these different spheres of people that not everyone else can. Without changing myself or ‘trying’ I possess an already existing influence. I can help so many, I can understand and relate to so many and I can encourage and edify an expansive group of people all over the world. How amazing is that?!

“Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” (2 Corinthians 1:21) 

I love this book ‘Anonymous’ by Alicia Britt Chole, it always encourages me when I’m at a place where I’m feeling low. She says in her book, “Within our souls, we possess a need to be valued and wanted, wondering what makes us special. But, only God can reach that place because He is the One who created that place… So let’s reposition our it-is-not-enough feelings behind God’s it-is-enough truth. We are the recipients of God’s attention and acceptance. What could the world actually add to that?”

Jesus has given me freedom, He died on the cross and rose again to tell me that I AM QUALIFIED, I AM VALUED, I AM HIS MASTERPIECE.

My Relationship with Jesus

I’ve had my fair share of relationships and none of them have been anything like what I have with Jesus. Yes you can say it’s different but it was a long journey for me to shift seeking love and attention from men to seeking the one who loves me with a love that none can compare.

On this rough journey I’ve had series after series of disappointment, sorrow and hurt but thankfully it has only taught me a huge lesson and pointed me towards learning my ‘Boundaries’. [A must read: Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend].

If I were to get a little bit more personal here… Since I was someone who lacked basically Any boundaries, I’d given others control over my feelings, attitudes, behaviours, choices and values. Instead of building my relationships on freedom – likewise to our relationship with Christ, I’d opened up ways for people to take advantage of me, to disrespect me and to cause a lot of hurt. This was my responsibility and sometimes without them even knowing, it was destroying the relationship.

Thankfully after learning about boundaries I’ve been able to develop healthier friendships, I’ve learned how to better guard my heart and how to prepare myself for the one God will bless me with in the future.

Did you know that you can have a relationship with Jesus? You can speak to him, ask Him to help you, to bring you joy, contentment, to take away your sorrows, your sickness, your troubles.

Jesus is your companion, your ever present help. The word of God says “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13) and “He leads you beside still waters, restores your soul,… and even when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death you won’t fear no evil.” (Psalm 23) You can have no fear in any given situation!

Never Alone

Loneliness is something that I know I must constantly overcome because God knows that He might have just shown me how much He’s constantly by my side and then I might just lie down and start thinking I’m all alone again. #single #thestruggleisreal Haha.

But thankfully discipline is one of my strengths and I’ve been learning to, as Pastor Bobbie says, take my own thinking cap off and put God’s thinking cap on. I believe that it’s not a season of waiting but a season of training me for what God is preparing for me. Loneliness doesn’t just go away once I get what I want, or once I get a husband or once I have people around me. Loneliness is something I must face head on and realize I can defeat it every time with a revelation of how it’s impossible to ever be alone. God is always with me, I am never alone.

I had a wonderful wonderful experience in New York where God literally, step by step, showed me I am Never Alone. Having it be my first time being in New York city and traveling by myself somewhere unfamiliar, I woke up and decided ‘today is going to be my chance to have a perfect date with God’.

From the outset, I never had a moment where I felt lonely or afraid and I even felt him caring for me and protecting me. I can’t believe I never realized how much easier my day could be if only I remembered that He was with me.

If you don’t know me, I’m a huge planner and huge on details and precision. I plan not only where I’m going but the experience I’m going to have. So, literally I plan which bus at which time and which road I’m going to walk on. (Crazy hey?) But somehow on this day where I chose to have a perfect date with God, I let go of all that planning and in came God’s perfect timing. I let Him lead me on the date I decided to go on with Him. He showed me a route full of emotions that brought me so close to him, so intimate and so loved.

Rather than taking the usual shuttle to the city, I managed to find a bus through random people that just decided to give me advice (probably angels that God sent, haha) that saved me a ton of money and immersed me in the local and the culture which I so fell in love with.

So the first stop I went to FDNY for a tour. When I got there, even though I called to make sure there was a tour, it had already started and what’s even more hilarious is that they didn’t tell me it was a tour for little children. Nevertheless, I felt God love on me so much. One of the firefighters approached me and had a great conversation with me. He gave me a personal session on fire safety and ended up asking me about my trip. He really cared for me and through that I felt it couldn’t be more obvious that God was telling me ‘My precious daughter, I care for you so much’.

This was my first experience of God’s perfect timing: I got there just in time to meet the fireman who even though was in the middle of a tour, had time to have a personal conversation with me.

Then I walk out of FDNY and tried to find my way to the next destination. I had a couple tours lined up but wasn’t sure how I was going to go about it since tours start at a certain time and have queues but I went ahead letting God guide me step by step.

I walk up to Radio City Music Hall to ask about the tour. My second experience of God’s perfect timing: They said to me, ‘come on in! the tour’s about to start in one minute’. Because I had a pass, even though there was a huge line, I got ushered in, got given a pass, and started the tour right away. The tour was fabulous, I was fascinated by all the details of the building, the history, the fancy, the luxurious, the creativity and the talent. But what resonated within me was God telling me how much he loves everyone just as much as he loves me. Everything might be so amazing but never as marvelous as His love for me.

This may be unbelievable but right after the tour I made my way to the Rockefeller centre to see if I can catch the tour there. God faithfully showed me once again his perfect timing: I get to the reception, they tell me ‘Yep, right this way’ and showed me to the man leading the tour. I have no idea how but again I was first to get in and without lining up the tour started. On the tour I was shown the richest of the rich, ceilings made of gold, beautiful stories of expensive art but God showed me that I am His creation, that I can dream big, that he has so much more to offer me and that all I needed to do was follow wherever He leads. I understood that God knows my past and He knows my future so all I needed to do was to prepare myself in the present.

Then I made my way to the 9/11 World Trade Centre Memorial Museum. There I deeply felt God share his emotions with me. I saw things that made me feel extremely sad, heartbroken to the brink of tears but I shared that moment with Him and felt him so intimately. He showed me how sad he was watching the people he loves pass away and when I felt how much God loves them I felt how much I love his people and how much he loves me.

Even now I find myself feeling lonely at times but that’s why we must constantly remind ourselves with the promises of God and be ready to change our thinking into God’s thinking because we are in fact never alone. God has so much love for us to experience, so much for you to appreciate, you have the ability to transform from feeling defeated to shouting out the victory of conquering something that was holding you back.

He says “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

Let’s not let anything cause us to think we should feel lonely because God is with you, He can help you, He can be your comfort, you only need to take the initiative to ask Him.

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Have you ever felt the need for someone to love you deeply and to know you completely? Can I tell you my story, of how Jesus was my answer to that question?