GOD SPEAKS: Clouds & Self Worth

Who can comprehend the clouds in the sky? Who can measure them or count them? Not you. Not I. Out of all my insecurities and doubts and worries my Father says to me, ‘Who am I?’

Last night I watched ‘Wonder Woman’ and it really inspired me and gave me revelations. Through the movie God kept saying to me ‘Look, I have so much more for you. So much more than human affection, You.. Deserve.. More than that. I love you so much’. There is more to this world than pleasure or attention, so much more than romantic love, so much more than finding your purpose, so much more than anything you could ever imagine. It’s not about winning love or affection, it’s knowing that you Are loved by a love more than any other love and understanding that frees you to a spirit of being content with any situation.

God’s kingdom of heaven is here on earth, and once you find that place you realize how earthly things don’t matter as much as what God has prepared for you. Spiritually you learn to communicate with God and see a glimpse of what he has in store for you, it’s massive, it changes your life, it brings peace in all situations and it comforts.

I also thought about the process of Wonder Woman getting filmed, how many years went into that and how many years go into preparing anything extraordinary? God.. is Preparing you and I.. for something Extraordinary!

Recently, out of the fruit of a close friend encouraging me, I started running in the mornings. This has been something I’ve always wanted to do but didn’t have enough stamina, courage or motivation to do.

Sidenote: I’m making a point here to say that friendship is powerful! The support we give to a friend and words we say can actually change lives, turn someone in the right direction and lift up someone’s spirit. Honestly, if you were to ask me my opinion on the best profession? Friend. I wanna strive to be a professional friend, changing lives for love, one at a time.

But it took me a couple days until I started thinking, what’s the real reason I run? Is it to get fit? But for what? No, I run for ME. I’m not running for better shape, to impress, for praise, for men, I’m running for ME. I’m running for His glory, because my body is His temple and I love my Father.

That also led me to thinking about my Self worth. My self worth is from God, not from running, not from attention, not from men, not from position, not from replies on social media, not from numbers… I can’t say this easily but I’ve realized how important it is to remember and remind myself that my self worth is from God and who He says I am. I am daughter of a King, of one who loves me more than anything or anyone, not money not parents not a lover not a foreseeable future and so what could ever stop me from standing tall, speaking and walking confident in the love He has for me while proclaiming my faith? I have strong faith that God only has good things for me and he’s preparing me and molding me even for the things that come up today.

When God spoke to Job, it speaks to me massively, these verses are so loud to me they jump out and wake me.

Job 38-41:

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!

“Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, 10 when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, 11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?

“Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place,

What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? 25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm, 26 to water a land where no one lives, an uninhabited desert, 27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass? 28 Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? 29 From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens 30 when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen?

Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons[c]    or lead out the Bear[d] with its cubs? Do you know the laws of the heavens?    Can you set up God’s[e] dominion over the earth?

34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds    and cover yourself with a flood of water? 35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?    Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?

Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?    Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens 38 when the dust becomes hard    and the clods of earth stick together? 39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness    and satisfy the hunger of the lions 40 when they crouch in their dens    or lie in wait in a thicket? 41 Who provides food for the raven    when its young cry out to God    and wander about for lack of food?

Job 39

“Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?
    Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?
Do you count the months till they bear?
    Do you know the time they give birth?

“Do you give the horse its strength
    or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?
20 Do you make it leap like a locust,
    striking terror with its proud snorting?
21 It paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength,
    and charges into the fray.
22 It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing;
    it does not shy away from the sword.

“Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom
    and spread its wings toward the south?
27 Does the eagle soar at your command
    and build its nest on high?

It dwells on a cliff and stays there at night;
    a rocky crag is its stronghold.
29 From there it looks for food;
    its eyes detect it from afar.
30 Its young ones feast on blood,
    and where the slain are, there it is.”

While words of God spoken to Job out of the storm, it awakened me to ask ‘Sarah, how can you forget who your God is?’ Yes Papa, my ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.

I’ve come to a season where yet again I’m at a cross road and it seems the road I must take isn’t an easy one. One where there is heartache, one where I will have to go on my own and bid many farewells but there is a God who loves me and covers me, there is a God of endless possibilities, there is a God who protects me. God is all you need to overcome anything or maybe you’ll realize you not even have to overcome anymore. Holy spirit is so amazing that when you receive the peace it reigns in your heart, you’ll find you’re simply content, you have no worries in the world no stress no pressure.

Tong An, you are an amazing friend. I love that you encourage me so much regarding my identity. I love that I feel comfortable around you in my mix bag of cultures and you bring out the gold in my unique identity. I must say your words have a big impact in my life and though we may separate paths soon, the memories and words you’ve spoken over me will last my lifetime. Thank you, I appreciate your friendship so much. xx



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